Letter From Goneril To Regan

Princess Goneril

Goneril’s Castle

Britain

October 20, 1582

Princess Regan

Regan’s Castle

Britain

Dear Regan,

            I have given our father hospitality for only a short amount of time now, and already he has caused problems. He has brought along with him many servants and knights that are; “infected with manners, shows like a riotous inn” (I, iiii, 223-224). I cannot handle the 100 knights he has brought with him breaking all my beloved items. Father has acted with disgusting manners considering that I agreed to take in his army of knights and servers, and provide them with food, drink and beds. The majority of them treat this place like a pub and not like an orderly place.

I tried to reason with father that some of his knights needed to change because they were causing too much trouble, but he wouldn’t consider it for a moment. I grew too upset with him and I told him that if he wouldn’t; “disquantity your train” (I iiii 229), then I would do it for him. I even offered to let him keep fifty knights, even though there are far more; “men as may besort your age” (I iiii 231). In the end, all I got from our lovely discussion was him yelling and calling me a: “degenerate bastard” (I iiii 233).

He even had the indecency to strike my poor Oswald who had the respect to listen to our father’s gibberish. Father was being childish and asked Oswald; “Who am I, sir?” (I, iiii 77) Oswald answered with an honest reply: “My lady’s father”  (I, iiii 78), upon which angered our as you know, short-tempered father. Preceding this, his new servant tripped him to the floor! O gosh! As you hear, I am having a great time hosting him.

            O my! I almost forgot to tell you the most dramatic part of father’s visit; he has set a curse upon me! He has asked nature to make my, “womb convey sterility” (I iiii 260), and that if I must have a child to make it a “thwart disnatured torment to her” (I iiii 265). As he was cursing me he started to cry and he even said: “Old fond eyes, beweep this cause again I’ll pluck ye out” (I iiii 283-284). I’m now assuming he really doesn’t like it when I make him cry, or he is just going mad, actually I think both.

            Anyways sister, father is on his way to your castle and he will be there soon. I warn you, as he will be just as stubborn at your place as mine. It is probable that he will show up with one hundred knights so be prepared. Anyways, aside from all of the drama happening at my castle, I really enjoy having this castle! How about you? I am sending this word with Oswald, so I am sure it will arrive before father arrives. We will speak soon.

Sincerely,

Goneril